I was never a little girl who really enjoyed dolls—when I was five, I sold the ten Barbies I had to my best friend at a garage sale for a dollar a piece, because I wanted money for horse figurines and Pony Pal books. But, I do remember going to her house shortly afterward, where I helped her carefully craft undergarments for the dolls out of masking tape, so when she swapped their outfits, they’d still be “dressed.” We were five, and we knew private parts were supposed to be private.

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But that was the 90s, and even though we were in public school, perverts apparently weren’t running the place—we were making snowflakes with craft scissors and following clues to a Gingerbread man who’d escaped the oven and wound up in the principal’s office.

Things are so much different today though, and in Minnesota classrooms this fall, kids as young as four are set to engage in “therapeutic play” with “trans” dolls, which have “removable internal and external genitals,” so they can know their “options.” Here’s the story, from a report at the New York Post:

The paper dolls, with gender-neutral names like ‘Sam,’ ‘Rory,’ ‘Avery’ and ‘Parker’  have removable internal and external genitals, along with more than 100 interchangeable pieces of clothing, accessories and hairstyles — like a trans Mr./Mrs. Potato Head.

(Ironically, the dolls are binary, only coming in either male or female.)

The dolls are a brainchild of the University of Minnesota, which two school psychologists quickly turned into a “commercial venture,” supported by their professional colleagues:

Other therapists from the university’s medical school said they used the dolls to get the kids talking about their private parts.

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‘We were able to explore and brainstorm not just what our bodies are able to do now but what we want our bodies to do and look like in the future,’ bragged Adjunct Assistant Professor Elizabeth Panetta.

Yeah, we call that grooming you sick f**ks. (I think we need a law that forces child “therapists” to have nanny software on their personal devices.)

And, I’m sure most readers would be very unsurprised to hear this, but the project was funded by Tim Walz, using our tax dollars—he’s really not helping put any distance between himself and those “rumors” about his alleged penchant for youngsters.

I know government seems to abhor efficiency, but if they want pedophiles and groomers in the classroom, why not just recruit from the local cell block where we house the child molesters and rapists? Or, why not just hand out job applications at the NAMBLA conventions? Maybe they could ask Disney and Nickelodeon how they’re able to employ a disproportionate number of child sex predators?

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