An admission: I am not a fan of communism, socialism, fascism, or Nazism.
So, I have a bias.
That said, I also have an open mind.
And there seem to be lots of people who are fan-boys/girls/trans of the Democratic Socialists of America (“DSA”) who think that having the conglomerate known as the Democrats/Progressive/Liberals (DPLs) embrace them is the right move.
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I am willing to accept, with sufficient proof (whenever that comes), that the problem with communism/socialism is one of poor implementation.
After all, great minds such as , Richard D. Wolff and Stephen Resnick, and Owen Jones seem to suggest that.
So, I got to thinking about other brilliant ideas that simply have been poorly implemented, but for that would succeed, as would communism/socialism.
Many of these persons have won Darwin Awards.
Some possess skills in their respective areas:
Like the owner of Segway, who, while riding around his estate, learned that scootering along a narrow cliffside path actually can send you plummeting into a river, if not done right.
Or the nutrition fanatic who, for years, was a carrot-eater and set out to show that drinking a gallon of carrot juice every single day to “purify your body” does not cause fatal Vitamin A toxicity and total liver failure. Well, when his liver failed, it proved that he just did not do it right.
Then there are the social media Einsteins trying to demonstrate that:
Holding your urine will not cause damage to the bladder. It doesn’t have to. It just has not been done right.
Eating a tablespoonful of dry cinnamon does not choke you. It doesn’t have to. It just has not been done right.
What is most encouraging about the near-guaranteed success of the upcoming implementation of communism/socialism, i.e., it being done right? The cast of characters:
Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (NY-14): Armed with an overpriced Boston University international relations degree, her pre-political résumé boils down to slinging cocktails and a pathetic home-based children’s book startup that died instantly.
Rashida Tlaib (MI-12): Textbook career grifter who leveraged her law degree into instant taxpayer-funded state gigs and cozy progressive nonprofit sinecures.
Ilhan Omar (MN-05): Glided from a political science degree straight into municipal nutrition busywork and policy aide handouts—a lifelong parasite on government institutions. Though, to her credit, she prepped for her Feeding Our Future fraud by having a background in nutrition.
Ayanna Pressley (MA-07): Dropped out of college to latch onto congressional staff gigs and city council, scoring a flawless lifetime on the government teat with zero private-sector contamination.
Greg Casar (TX-35): Vaulted from elite campus activism into a decade of cushy municipal/federal paychecks, utterly unburdened by anything resembling private-sector reality.
Summer Lee (PA-12): Weaponized her law degree exclusively for pro-protest organizing and activist directing before sliding into legislative luxury
Delia Ramirez (IL-03): Spent her whole adult life paddling in the subsidized kiddie pool of social-service nonprofits and foundations before claiming a permanent legislative throne.
Claire Valdez (NY-07): Effortless pivot from university customer service to UAW union organizer, then straight to a sweet six-figure federal teat.
Darializa Avila Chevalier (NY-13): Columbia sociology PhD drifter, public defender investigator, and full-time agitator before parachuting into federal office
Melat Kiros (CO-01): Brief, disastrous corporate law firm flameout (fired after a year), then scampering back to doctoral academia and activism to unseat a 30-year incumbent.
Adam Hisham Hamawy (NJ-12): A plastic surgeon and veteran who, as a bright-eyed young medical student, played eager character witness and travel companion for the Blind Sheik—Omar Abdel-Rahman, the convicted terrorist mastermind of the 1993 World Trade Center bombing plot and seditious conspiracy—even volunteering with a Bosnia charity later exposed as an al-Qaeda front. Nothing says “serious national security judgment” like vouching for a jihadist cleric.
Zohran Mamdani (NYC Mayor): Ultimate nepo spawn of a wealthy filmmaker mommy and Marxist professor daddy; résumé padded with housing counseling and failed semi-pro hip-hop rapping
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Julia Salazar (NY Senate): Early-20s anti-abortion Christian conservative campus zealot who magically rebranded as a fire-breathing Marxist—100% identity cosplay, zero actual workplace grit.
Jabari Brisport (NY Senate): Morphed from public school drama teacher/actor to suddenly pretending he can author multi-billion-dollar state budgets.
Kristen Gonzalez (NY Senate): Climbed the Amex tech product manager ladder while simultaneously rallying to burn down the capitalist machine that cut her paychecks.
Aber Kawas (NY Senate): Youth wasted exclusively as a so-called Palestinian community organizer/admin before presuming to dictate transit budgets for millions. (There has never been a county called Palestine, hence, so-called.)
Phara Souffrant Forrest (NY Assembly): Actual paramedic/nurse experience, but strictly confined to heavily unionized public healthcare grift before legislative lifetime.
Tiffany Cabán (NYC Council): Elite law degree funneled into public defender role before permanent taxpayer-funded council teat, blissfully insulated from real markets.
Alexa Avilés (NYC Council): 20-year comfy ride on private foundation grants and nonprofit advocacy salaries before hopping aboard the municipal payroll.
Diana Moreno (NY Assembly): Non-profit immigrant worker advocate straight to inheriting a legislative seat—eternally tethered to subsidized grievance work.
David Orkin (NY Assembly): Progressive labor attorney filing endless grievances against businesses, then legislating rules for the private sector he’s never dirtied his hands in.
Eon Huntley (NY Assembly): PTA president and boutique retail drone now lecturing the state on macro urban real estate development.
Illapa Sairitupac (NY Assembly): Morphed from a professional tenant organizer and climate warrior to rewriting complex housing tax codes.
Samantha Kattan (NY Assembly): Decade as professional community tenant/parent organizer before stepping into an assembly seat to boss around state housing policy.
Janeese Lewis George (D.C. Mayor): Straight city council ladder to mayor after assistant AG/progressive activist gigs—zero private financial oversight on the résumé.
Alex Lee (CA Assembly): Youngest legislator fresh out of legislative staffer drudgery and gig-economy driving; all economic wisdom forged in a college dorm.
Zaynab Mohamed (MN Senate): Civil rights advocate/municipal policy aide to the state senate at 27—professional worldview that never escaped the public sector bubble.
Nikil Saval (PA Senate): Architecture critic, literary book editor, and labor organizer now pretending to craft Pennsylvania’s infrastructure and housing budgets.
Abdul El-Sayed (US Senate MI): That oh-so-earnest Muslim unlicensed physician, DSA-adjacent grifter and failed gubernatorial also-ran who’s now auditioning for U.S. Senate by crooning in a vomit-inducing “Blue’s Clues” parody ad about getting money out of politics, all while pushing Medicare for All and full-throated Israel-bashing like it’s his personal jihad.
Admittedly, I did not include arrest and criminal records due to space constraints, but let’s face it, the Founders were considered lawbreakers and/or were arrestees.
Though, with apologies to Lloyd Bentsen, “I have studied the Founders, and these people are no Founders.”
Still, they do seem to ooze the experiences, backgrounds, slither, and skills one would expect are desired by the DPLs to remake the USA in the image of the communists/socialists/fascists/Nazis/Muslims. So, for DPLs, if anyone can do it right, the aforementioned can.
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We will see how well they do.