Well, here comes Iran, broke, blockaded, no navy, no air force, no defenses, their entire war strategy in tatters, completely at the mercy of the Great Satan itself (and the Little Satan, too, come to think of it). But they “captured” an American “submarine,” so the entire world goes “oooh,” and collapses in awe.
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Those scare quotes are earned. First, it’s not a submarine. It’s a drone, an underwater UAV designed to carry out a variety of different missions. Second, it wasn’t captured. It malfunctioned two days ago and popped up to the surface, at which point the Iranians scooped it up.
There are a few other problems with the Iranian version as well. The IRGC claims that the drone is “the most advanced and classified UAV” are nonsense. (That would be the Mk 18 Kingfish.) The drone in question is the Anduril Dive-LD, a general-purpose UAV with a modular design that can be configured for various missions, such as minesweeping, reconnaissance, or surveillance. It’s about 18 ft. long and weighs three tons, which puts it in the relatively larger class of underwater UAVs — but it’s still not a submarine. The Navy states that it was on a survey mission along the southern Iranian coast – something that should arouse consideration among media and Iranians both. The Navy made clear that it’s an older model, without advanced electronics or AI, and that it wasn’t carrying any classified equipment.
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So no loss there. Which didn’t prevent Iran from behaving as if it had beaten the Infidel on behalf of the Mahdi, or the legacy media from breathlessly covering the story as if it marked the defeat of the U.S. Navy, the downfall of Donald Trump, and other fond leftist daydreams. Some early commentators actually believed the “submarine” line, as if the incompetent IRGC had actually captured one of those Los Angeles-class monsters that can wipe out an enemy fleet without breaking a sweat. Others chose to dwell on the 2016 seizure of two Navy boats by the IRGC in which crewpersons burst into tears, and the commander apologized to Iran, forgetting that this is no longer Barack Obama’s navy. Others predicted that Iran would immediately reverse-engineer the drone and use it against the U.S., a neat trick when you have no industry left.
Overall, this does nothing for Iran. It’s a pity it happened now, right on the heels of the announcement that the Navy had successfully cleared mines out of the southern route through the Strait of Hormuz, which is exactly what the media is now hiding. But it doesn’t put the mines back, or replace the tankers Iran has been losing like old socks over the past two weeks. So, as we used to say in my youth, we’ll keep on keepin’ on.
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Image: U.S. Navy