Fix the Highway System with Trump Lanes

Because I am so wise, my mind is ever searching to discover our nation’s deepest need. What is it, do you think? Justice for Defunded NGOs? You know, the ones that have been funding violent lefty armed insurrections?

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Of course, our nation’s deepest problem is that our liberal friends have led the majority of young, educated women into a wilderness of woke mirrors.

The depth of that problem is so deep and so tragic that I, as an amateur scribbler, cannot begin to imagine where to start.

That is for another time. Let us solve a problem that is solvable. Let us fix the nation’s decayed interstate highway system.

But how? After an afternoon driving down the Shenandoah Valley on Interstate 81 from Winchester, VA to Staunton, VA, on a Saturday in May, I realized that I-81needs an extra lane to protect MAGA drivers from the left-lane slow coaches and right-lane semis.

Okay, President Eisenhower, I agree. Let’s make it bigger.

We, the American People, need an extra lane on every interstate highway in the nation: north, south, east, and west:

From the mountains to the prairies
To the oceans white with foam

This lane, experts agree, will be called the Trump Lane, because I am sure that as soon as Susie Wiles & Co. get a hold of this article, they will realize that there can be no better gift to the nation to symbolize the new Golden Age of America inaugurated by the Trump years than to Make Interstates Great Again.

Note to anyone who knows someone who knows anyone in the Trump administration. Please pass this article along.

When I first set foot on this sacred ground in Denver, Colorado, as a callow Brit on a day in December of 1965, a day that will live — no FDR, not in infamy — in immortal memory, my first interstate highway experience was a brief section of Interstate 70 west of Denver around Idaho Springs. That was it. For most of the way to A-Basin ski area it was US 40 and then US 6 over the Continental Divide. And that’s where I learned to Ski the American Way.

Today, of course, there’s the Eisenhower-Johnson Memorial Tunnel for Interstate 70 under the Continental Divide, and Interstate Highways everywhere, thanks to the strategic vision of President Dwight D. Eisenhower. I had no idea back then that Interstate 70 would stretch from Cove Fort, Utah in the west to Woodlawn, MD, in the east. I was, after all, a callow youth.

Now, maybe in due course, Elon’s Boring Company will figure out how to connect the world with supercalifragilistic tunnels at half the price of a Super Heavy Starship launch. But meanwhile, we Americans need our Interstates, particularly because, after two generations in which our liberal friends and a whole army of NGOs have been throwing climate-friendly wrenches at highway construction, our beloved highway system is no longer up to its basic function of Seeing the USA in a Chevrolet. If nothing else, we need the Interstates expanded to reduce the risk of annihilation of native-born Americans by an army of non-English-speaking illegal aliens with CDLs causing wrecks all over the place and killing native-born Americans with all-American semi-trucks. And then there is the persistent national problem that I hinted at of slow drivers in the left lane that generations of state highway patrols have failed to alleviate.

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The scope of the project is simple: an extra Trump Lane on every interstate highway in the nation. Yes, shut up, Biden judges. You are out of your lane.

The question is: how shall we pay for this vital national priority when all our nation’s resources are already committed to fund Democrat-adjacent Medicaid fraudsters.

Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent has already indicated the direction we should go by proposing to defund NGOs that fund violent left-wing organizations devoted to the destruction of The American Way.

Experts agree that NGOs have nothing, nothing to do with anti-ICE protests in New Jersey.

But really, why stop there? How about taxing every left-wing NGO that is detected in fraud with a 50-year 10% tax on the contributions that they have disgracefully used to diminish our glorious nation?

And a 10% tax on faculty salaries for universities employing DEI administrators earning more than $250,000 per year.

And a 10% tax on teacher union contributions, given how the Randi Weingarten-dominated education system has cruelly cheated generations of our children out of a basic education.

Wake up America! The Century of Humiliation for the American middle class ended with the election of Donald Trump to the presidency in 2016 and 2024. And there is nothing that can symbolize the new Golden Age of America better than an extra Big Beautiful Trump Lane on every Interstate highway in the nation. Maybe the extra lane should be paved with a special orange-flavored concrete mix to infuriate our liberal friends, but maybe not.

Yes, Bugs. Ain’t I a stinker!

Christopher Chantrill @chrischantrill blogs at The Commoner Manifesto and runs the go-to site on US government finances, usgovernmentspending.com. Also get his American Manifesto and his Road to the Middle Class.

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Image: Library of Congress — Caroline Highsmith Collection