The mainstream media has been sounding the alarm about the renewed opposition to gay marriage. Specifically, they are raising concerns about current efforts to overturn the U.S. Supreme Court’s Obergefell v. Hodges decision, which required states to license and recognize same-sex marriage.
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The media have limited their coverage to the efforts of Christian conservatives, with no discussion about why they oppose the Court’s decision, including the impact gay parenting has had on children. Yet other segments of society, including observant Jews and many conservatives without religious affiliation, share in their desire to return to a traditional definition of marriage. Collectively, their advocacy appears to have a growing impact in realigning the culture with traditional values, if not the law.
Observant Jewish leadership in the U.S. (and Israel) continues to be vocal in supporting the traditional family. The traditional family is the bedrock not just of Judaism, but of all of humanity.
Eleven years ago, when the Supreme Court heard Obergefell, the Coalition for Jewish Values, a group of some 1,100 Orthodox rabbis, actively supported a traditional definition of marriage and subsequently opposed the Supreme Court’s 5-4 decision. Its position has not changed. In a letter regarding the “Respect for Marriage Act,” Yaakov Menken, director of CJV, wrote, “the proposed Act would adopt, as US policy, a definition of marriage directly contrary to that found in our Bible and to core Judaic belief and religious observance.”
Foundationally, for observant Jews, the Hebrew Bible is God’s instruction manual for living. Jews read the laws about proper sexual behavior from the Torah (Leviticus 18) at the holiest time of year, at the holiest moment of the day; i.e., on Yom Kippur before the end of the fast.
While Jews don’t proselytize or tell others how to live, we do hold that everyone should follow seven basic Noahide laws. Proper sexual behavior is one of those seven laws, along with don’t murder and don’t steal.
The Talmud and the Midrash, the 1,700-year-old commentary on the Book of Genesis, note that a society that tolerates individual sins is viewed very differently from one that institutionalizes them. When discussing the generation of Noah and the Flood, these holy sources teach that the ultimate doom of that society was sealed when they went so far as to draft formal marriage contracts between males.
It isn’t just religious people who want to see this law overturned. Almost 40 percent of non-religious Republicans also want to see Obergefell overturned.
There are logical reasons: the negative impact on children and the overall negative impact on the future health of Western society. As has been studied and documented, children raised by gay parents have many more mental-health challenges than those raised by traditional families, including significantly higher rates of depression, fearfulness, poorer academic performance, and much higher instances of sexual abuse.
This is why the “Greater Than” coalition was formed. The coalition now includes 83 different organizations from across the spectrum that are opposed to gay marriage for this critical reason—because of the negative effects on children who grow up in same-sex parental households.
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Some will argue that those who are opposed to same-sex marriage need to have compassion for those who have same-sex attractions and that, therefore, we need to allow for gay marriage. Compassion for those struggling? Yes, absolutely.
But is sexual preference akin to race, or is it something that could be managed if a person so chose? Is same-sex attraction something a person can identify in themselves? Is it immutable?
We know there is no physical test to measure same-sex attraction: no blood test, no DNA, no measurement of differences in brain size, etc. Therefore, we are dealing with an aspect of personality that may be heavily influenced by experience and/or culture. Note that today, 30% of Gen Z women in the U.S. are self-identifying as LGBTQ, which would indicate that culture is the primary cause.
Immutability is clearly a myth. Former lesbians outnumber current lesbians 5:1, and even for males, a significant number have returned to a traditional lifestyle. (“How Many Homosexual Desistors Are There in the United States?” Paul Sullins, [email protected], May 29, 2024, The National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent to Adult Health)
One of the greatest and most effective rabbis of our generation, Rabbi Menachem Mendel Schneerson, of blessed memory, the founder of the modern worldwide Chabad movement, wrote a letter to someone who was struggling with same-sex attraction. He compared that struggle to one who struggles with other inclinations, such as kleptomania, something we would not want to encourage. More importantly, he said, “One has the capacity to choose the right behavior and it is entirely a matter of one’s will and determination.”
Bottom line—the Torah is clear. Simple logic is clear. Four thousand years of human history are clear. The traditional family is foundational.
If people choose not to follow God’s law, that is up to them. We can be compassionate and even tolerant, but we should not legally codify, encourage, and celebrate their behavior.
More importantly, if we focus on what’s best for children, gay couples should not be parents. A child’s well-being supersedes the desires of the gay couple, as difficult as that may be for a gay couple to accept.
The tide is turning. This coalition of committed, focused, clear-thinking religious and secular Americans is expanding. God willing, we will be successful in righting the ship.
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Yehezkel (Gary) Schiff is President of Jewish Family Forever.